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 Okay. New Year. 2017. There are so many forces at work right now. In the government, in life, in every sense. This year I am in it for me in an enriching, purposeful way. 

Already I've met a few closed doors and a few open ones too. I won't be battered, I won't be defeated. I can do this. I had originally had a plan to move out with Brittany. We talked about it. And we've been friends for more than ten years. While we have had our ups and downs like any relationship, we've never lived together. She opened up to me and told me about her worry that we won't get along as well as she thought, she's particular. I'm allergic to cats. I value our friendship more than my independence at this juncture. She said that if it was an emergency, I can totally bunk with her. That isn't the problem. It just doesn't seem like a viable situation. She offered it up when I was at my worst and lowest point in my relationship with Grandma.

That's a whole different kettle of fish. Not going to dwell on it right now. 


That was a pill to swallow Monday. 

Yesterday, Thursday, my boss at the Golden Cove Starbucks told me that the district manager wants me to interview for an assistant manager position in two months. The first time around, I was riddled with anxiety. I was scared. I was sad. I'm motivated. I know it's still going to be nervewrecking. I feel like Adam my boss is going to really help me. I want to help him and be his assistant manager so I can help the store grow to it's full potential. I haven't told anyone but my friend Amy about this. I sort of fear that opening up too soon would jinx it. It's been a climb to this point. Emotionally. I keep having these opportunities, expressing my joy and then they float. I don't know if it's because I'm too optimistic or what. I want this. If I get the ASM position then I will get a pay increase, if I get a pay increase I can move out sooner and not have to worry so much about price or location. I want my own place. I don't want to be beholden to anyone or anything. That's really what I'd like. 

So that's the goal to work to. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I will do this. I will do this. I will do this. 
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Please keep in mind I am a human being with squishy feelings. I am far more responsive to articulate points of view than harsh words. Let's keep it civil.

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January 2017

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